Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The Shakes

I haven't eaten since my last post (Saturday). Except for the occasional lettuce/broccoli bite to keep me going. I did eat tonight, a little bit more than I would like. I felt so bad I purged instantly. It all came up easy, no blood, no tears. I brushed my teeth, had a cigarette, and texted my Ana friend to let her know how my day went. My stomach is complaining now but it feels good. I'm praying I'll be 154 or less by tomorrow.

I started to feel it really bad today. I nearly blacked out twice and had the shakes so bad I could barely write in my journal. Bf asked if I was okay like a million times. I swore I was, and reported eating dinner when I got home via text message. Omit the fact that it didn't stay down...

I know I'm going to feel like shit in the morning, day 5 of a fast is always that way. Thank god for far coffee, cigarettes, and painkillers are what keep me going. Such is the life I lead, the life I choose. Just keeping my eye on the prize.

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